I've been thinking lately about my own online comments and interactions with other peoples' comments and noticed a certain pattern: a lot of it revolves around my agreements and disagreements with that person's opinion and beliefs. And although it's hard to imagine a discussion without that element (how else could we engage with someone else's thoughts?), there's a sense of unease I'm having with that.
One reason is the motivation behind it. How important is it really for my opinion to be heard and why? Where and why do I choose to comment, perhaps because I believe I could or needed to influence the other person to change his or her mind, or possibly just to impress others with my insights, knowledge, and "dazzling new perspective" no-one else had ever heard or thought of? In other words: is it just the narcissist in me needing to get some play time?
The other reason has more to do with the focus of the discussion and its goal. Opinions are opinions and they may or may not change. How important is it really to have people agreeing with me? Do I see myself as an important channel of truth? Maybe even as a "martyr" for the truth if a majority happens to disagree with me? How does this all relate to the fact that God isn't looking for people to simply agree with Him either (isn't it more about life than opinions) ?
We could extend this subject even further and start looking at blogrolls and sites we link to. This is another touchy subject. Presumably I will only list people and causes here that I'm supportive of in some way. I'm revealing "my tribe" for better or for worse and in doing so I'm projecting an image of myself to the readers of the blog (I won't touch the issue right now how accurate or inaccurate that image actually is). So now I may be worried about what false conclusions some may draw by those associations. Do I want to see my name next to someone whose views many would see as highly problematic?
So much of all of this comes down not just to pride but also to a desire to belong and to a fear of rejection or other negative repercussions.
After all these questions examining motives, let me end on a positive note. Other people's views and opinions are important. They have opened new perspectives for me and I do believe they have been a major source of encouragement, correction and inspiration. And having a chance to interact with the actual writers has been thrilling to say the least. You can ask the burning questions, voice your own doubts, and recalibrate your own way of thinking through the feedback received. It's not always about me. Quite the contrary. My own horizon expands. I get to know other people and their convictions, passions and a bit of their personal lives. I get to connect with parts of Christ's worldwide body I would have never met in person otherwise. And my own participation gives them the same chance on the other end.
It's also important to see that changed living is rooted in changed thinking. If I live an isolated life, unchallenged and ignorant of anything outside my own "box" - how is this ever going to change? Online discussions may not always accomplish that but the reason is not the discussion but how close-minded I am in the way I approach it. If I allow myself to believe that I may be wrong and that God has something to show me and tell me through someone I'm initially disagreeing with, there is a real potential blessing in store for me.
May the continuing journey be more about those benefits of the conversation and the motive of love and mutual encouragement than being enamored with myself!
